10 Things I’ll NEVER Understand

Not that the list of things I will never understand is limited to 10 items, but if I tried to list all of them this would be an incredibly long and boring post 😉 . I hope you guys are all having a good weekend! How are you finding back to school season? I’ve officially started Sixth Year (which in the Irish system is the last year of school!) and let’s just say it’s been a pretty crazy two weeks. Anyways, I don’t want to make this introduction too long so without further ado, here are 10 Things I’ll Never Understand…

1. My Own Handwriting

I’m not sure how this happened, but at some point during my education I must have skipped over the whole ‘handwriting’ phase. I mean obviously I can write – but I swear it’s the most illegible bunch of scribbles you’ve ever seen.  Every single year, teachers will tell me to “sort out that handwriting” and I try, I really do, but no matter what it still looks like a bunch of hieroglyphs waiting to be deciphered. Honestly I don’t know why secret services waste time and effort designing new, intricate codes when they could just use my handwriting.

2. Six inch heels

Well, actually any height of heel – I just wanted reference the Beyoncé song (if you haven’t listened to it, stop reading and go look it up right now). Seriously though, how do those stiletto-wearing women do it? I tripped on a pavement once wearing flats and broke my arm (true story), so in tall heels I’d just be a walking (well, falling) disaster!

And I’d love to know when exactly people learn to walk in heels. Cause it seemed to me like one minute everyone was rocking light-up sneakers and the next strutting around in stilettos. Is there some sort of heel-walking college people attend that I don’t know about?

3. My inability to unlock my own phone

Ok, please tell me I’m not the only one who does this. I can’t tell you guys the amount of times that I’ve actually locked myself out of my own phone just because I repeatedly messed up on the pattern-lock-thingy.  And then I have to go through the 30-second-wait-of-shame before trying again. You know, it’s just like when I’m trying to log in to my email account and I get the password so wrong that the little ‘Prove you’re not a robot’ image comes up. Then I fail at the robot test as well and start questioning whether or not I’m even human. The whole thing’s just an unnecessary stress in my life.

4. People who order water at restaurants

So this may just be me because I don’t go out to restaurants often, but I just don’t get people who go to restaurants and pay for a glass of water. Are you crazy? You went through all the trouble of googling a nice restaurant,  dressing up, driving over here and reading through the menu – so you can end up ordering water?  I mean look at all these cool drinks; you’ve got the tropical fruit juices, the overpriced fizzy drinks, the weird cocktails – you are wasting an opportunity, my friend. Honestly, you may as well have stayed home and had dinner with your tap.

5. People who order salad at Mc Donald’s

While we’re on the topic of annoying people eating out, let’s talk about that one friend we all have who orders some “nutritional” vegetarian dish while the rest of us are getting burgers. Now I’m all for a healthy lifestyle and everything, but to me going to a fast food restaurant and ordering a salad is just contradictory. Do you go to gyms to buy chocolate? Do you go to the Sahara desert to buy winter coats? Then why would you order a salad, when there’s plenty of junk food to choose from?

6. Perfume commercials 

I would love to go to one of the meetings where filmakers have to discuss the ideas for a perfume commercial. Because I’m pretty convinced everyone there must be on drugs. Seriously, can you imagine a serious director standing up and pitching his concept just like “I have a vision for the latest Chanel perfume. I’m thinking flowers, sheets randomly floating around a woman, a tsunami wave, and most importantly no evident storyline whatsoever”. Am I right or am I right?

7. Make up Abuse

Now, I have nothing against wearing a bit of make up, but when I go outside and see women with three coats of orange paint on their face – I start to worry for society. Is someone going to build a house on your face? No? Then why is all this foundation necessary? And what’s even more crazy is the price people pay for the make up products. Like if it were me, I’d just go down to the costume shop and bulk buy face paint. It’s cheaper and equally ridiculous.

8. Bungee jumping

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it usually human instinct to try and stay alive? Because to me, willingly throwing yourself off a cliff doesn’t sound like you’re trying to stay alive. And I know people say it’s for “the rush of adrenaline” or “the relief you feel afterwards”. See, here’s the thing. You don’t have to feel relief, if you never put yourself in the situation in the first place. But hey, if it takes a near-death experience for you to “feel alive” allow me to randomly throw knives at you while you’re strapped to a spinning wheel. Because that  makes just as much sense to me.

9. Conversations with Dentists

So you know when’s the perfect time to strike up a conversation? Well, according to my dentist, it’s when my mouth is being jabbed with six different sharp objects. And I know, I know… they’re just trying to be “friendly”. But seriously, what do you want me to do? Communicate with my eyes? Do sign language with my tongue?

10. How I managed to reach 3000 followers in one year!?

Ok,  wait. So technically that statement isn’t true…yet. But hopefully it will be soon! See, my 1 year ‘blogiversary’ (apparently that’s what the cool kids call it) is coming up in a little over month. And, I was hoping you guys would help me reach my goal of 3000 followers by October 26th! How, you might ask? Well, if each one of my followers just got one other person to subscribe to Artsy Teen – I’d reach my goal in no time! So if you guys know someone who might enjoy my crazy ramblings, DIYs and attempts at humour, please please send them a link to my blog!

That’s all for today…talk to you guys next week :).