Attempts at Humour

The 6 Stages of Procrastination

Posted on by maya

hi-guys
I hope you’ve all had a nice week. Thank you all so much for the great feedback I’ve been getting on my spring posts lately 🙂 . I’ve been working on ‘The 6 Stages of Procrastination’ for quite some time now, and I’m so happy to finally be able to share it with you guys!
I don’t possess many qualifications, if any really. But I think it’s safe to say that were procrastination an Olympic sport  I would have all the gold medals. Or at least, I’d think about getting them. I’d probably have other stuff to do first. I’d get them at some point though. Maybe later…
Seriously though, I hope you guys enjoy it and – if you’re procrastinators like me, let me know if you recognise these stages as well. Or, if you know how to actually be a sane, organised human being please comment down below and share your secret!
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Stage 1 – The Blissful Ignorance 

Some, admittedly naive, people may claim that the key to accomplishing a task successfully is to begin by acknowledging it… But that’s just ridiculous. Obviously, the best way to deal with your problems is to pretend they don’t exist.

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Stage 2 – The Complaining

Once the denial stage has run its course, and you’re slowly realising that you can’t avoid reality forever, you move on to step 2 – acknowledgment. By this I mean notifying everyone in the universe that you have work to do. Because why start working, when you could spend hours complaining to your friends about  how little time you have instead?

Stage 3 – The Delay

Once you’ve accepted the fact that you have work to do, the next step is to do everything in your power to avoid starting said work. This stage is characterised by the classic Google search “how to stop procrastinating” and the advanced calculations necessary to determine just how far you can push your deadline. Your motto in this stage is, “Why do today what you can do tomorrow?”. You start making up all these excuses, randomly cleaning your room, getting distracted by anything you see. And all the while, you tell yourself that you still have enough time left, even though you know it’s a lie you’ll live to regret.
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Stage 4 – The To-Do List

Eventually, you’ll reach a point where a short burst of motivation will inspire you to pull out a pen and paper, or perhaps a phone and notes app (who knows what you kids are up to nowadays), and write a to-do list. Now this is when you’ll start convincing yourself that you are an organised, proactive person who has their life together.  Why? Because in your mind, writing down all the jobs you need to do, in order of priority and with little check boxes scribbled beside each task,  is the equivalent of doing half the work.
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Stage 5 – The Busy Bee 

There’s a common misconception that procrastinators aren’t productive. I beg to differ. Let me tell you, when procrastinators have a job to do, they become the most busy people in the world…doing everything except start work on what they actually need to do. Have a ten page essay due tomorrow? Sounds like the perfect time to take up skiing, flamenco dancing and learn to speak Estonian.

Stage 6 – The Last Minute Panic

Now, inevitably the cycle of procrastination will end with an emotional breakdown right before your deadline. Often, this will be Sunday night where you have to finally admit to yourself that if you don’t start working now, the work just won’t get done at all. From here on there are two possible outcomes. One, you do the work, tired and frustrated, to a relatively mediocre standard and promise yourself you’ll never procrastinate again. Or, for the truly experienced like myself, will spend the remaining amount of time devising a suitable lie that will temporarily get you out of this situation. In both cases it’s only a matter of time before you’re back at stage 1, ready to repeat the whole process again.

 

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Did you enjoy this post? Make sure to like and comment below if you can relate or if you’re one of those crazy people who actually get work done!

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The Anti-Resolutions 2017

Posted on by maya

hi-guys

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How have you all been? It’s been a while… You know, I only had one resolution for 2017 and that was to start posting regularly every week this year. Needless to say the whole ‘New Year, New Me’ thing hasn’t been working out too well.

But then, it is that time of the year again –  the last week in January when everyone’s given up on their unrealistic goals and are slowly reverting back to their original, lazy, unmotivated selves. Naturally, being the artistic person that I am – I drew inspiration from my surroundings and decided to combine all these sentiments of disappointment and regret into what I am calling the ‘Anti-Resolutions’. (Now admittedly, I haven’t exactly figured out what the exact definition of an ‘Anti-Resolution’ is, but it’s a working title.) Anyways, it’s just a bit of fun as always 😉 , so enough with my rambling and without further ado, here are The Anti-Resolutions 2017…

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I feel like the New Year hasn’t even officially begun until everyone you know has started some weird diet that involves fasting for 12 hours a day and drinking pureed salad. And quite frankly, I find the whole thing very upsetting. See, a diet just entails  removing something beautiful (ie. food) away from one’s life – why would any one want to start off their year with that kind of negativity? I think you should do just the opposite. Going to the gym? Bring some chocolate cake to work out those jaw muscles. (Alternatively, skip the gym altogether because why be fit, when you can be filled with regret instead.) Going to get a coffee? Bring another cup of coffee along with you to drink while you’re waiting for the coffee you ordered. Thinking about giving up on sugar? Well, how would you feel if sugar gave up on you?

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What better way to ring in the new year than changing up your style, right? Wrong. You’re already broke after treating yourself over the holidays and then society tries to tempt you to buy more stuff with “January sales”? Don’t just go giving into consumerism. In fact, stand up for your rights. Don’t buy anything ever again. Find a nice bin bag, cut a few arm holes in it and then wear it for the rest of your life. It’s unique, water proof and black works for every occasion. Problem solved.

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You guys know I love to travel, so I would definitely encourage everyone else to do some travelling this year. When it comes to travel, there are only two things to consider. 1) How are you going to pay for it? 2) What are you going to wear? The first question can be easily resolved by either winning the lottery or marrying rich, and the second can be answered if you follow the steps outlined in my last point. You’re welcome.

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I know what you’re thinking. The beginning of a new year is the perfect time to start all those projects you’ve been dreaming about. Write a novel, start a blog, learn how to dance the flamenco… But the thing is, that’s what everyone is going to be aiming to do this year. You really want to be creative? Embrace your laziness. Motivate yourself to stay in bed just one hour longer. Actively ignore any responsibilities or opportunities that come your way. Make an inspiration board with pictures of all the things you want to achieve, instead of actually achieving them. Trust me, it offers a totally new perspective on life. I’ve tried it.

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Finally, are you tired of the same old routine, day in, day out? Do you wince when your alarm goes off in the morning? Have your weeks begun to blur into one? Fear not! You can fix this – just be incredibly impulsive and disregard any of the consequences it may have on your future! That’s right, quit your job, pack up your stuff, move to Peru and become a llama whisperer. Life will never be boring again!

. . .

Well, that’s all I have for you guys today! Let me know what your resolutions/ anti resolutions are in the comments below :). All jokes aside, I do hope you all have an amazing 2017 and achieve all your goals this year!

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5 Types of People at New Year’s

Posted on by maya

hi-guys

I hope you’re all  enjoying the holiday season! Personally, I had all these plans to be super productive but so far have just been eating a lot of chocolate and accomplishing little else. Though I mean, is it even the holidays if you don’t spend 90% of the time watching Netflix and 10% of the time regretting all the time you’ve wasted?

That being said, in between my excessive consumption of ferrero rochers and  candy canes (because I’m classy, but I’m also like five), I did manage to put together this little end-of-2016 post for you guys. Though naturally, I procrastinated as per usual and waited until the very last day of the year to finish it ;). Let me know in the comments below what type of person you are on New Year’s Eve – because clearly everyone in our society falls into one of these 5 categories ;).

Hope you all have an amazing New Year! Of course, being the social butterfly that I am, I’ll be spending tonight hanging out with my family in my pajamas, struggling to stay up till 12a.m. Do you guys have any more exciting plans?

Now, without further ado, here are 5  types of people you’ll see at new years…

1. The Party Animal

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This is the person who’s biggest challenge of 2016 is going to be deciding which party to attend on December 31st, followed by which shoes go with their sequins-covered dress. And I’m not going to lie – I’m basically the total opposite of this person, but I know they exist because these people document everything on social media. In fact, I don’t even feel like I need to go to parties because after a few minutes scrolling down my facebook timeline – I feel like I’ve been to all of them.
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2. The ‘New Year, New Me’ Guy

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We all know that one person that come January 1st, just feels a sudden urge to reinvent themselves completely – and tell everyone about it. Now we’re all guilty of coming up with one or two delusional new years resolutions – but these people just take it to the next level. Because let’s be honest, we both know that you won’t be getting fit, eating healthy and learning to speak mandarin chinese… You know why? Because you say this every year, and it never happens. So stop with this ‘turn over a new leaf’ nonsense and come over here and enjoy this pizza like the rest of us.

 

3. The TV Friend

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This is the friend who’s spending New Year’s Eve in their room, with some snacks, watching the New Year’s celebrations happening around the world on TV. Their thinking is,’who needs to go outside, when you can see the fireworks on your screen?’ And actually, I feel like this person may be on to something… food, comfort, wi-fi? What better way to ring in the new year.
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4. Clueless Chloe

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Okay, first off if you’re reading this and your name is Chloe, please don’t be offended I was just stuck for a title and needed some  kind of alliteration. Anyway, this is the person that just has no idea that it’s New Years Eve, and to be honest they probably don’t know even know what year it is at all. The rest of us will be doing the whole count down till midnight thing and they’re probably sitting somewhere with an old advent calendar counting down the days till last Christmas.

5.The Sleepyhead

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And finally, everyone knows the one rule of New Year’s Eve is to stay up till midnight. But, without fail, there’s always that one person who – every year – just falls asleep at like 10p.m. and wakes up the next morning all confused they missed the fireworks!
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The Blogger Symptoms: 15 Things ALL Bloggers do!

Posted on by maya

hi-guys

I hope you’re all having an amazing week :). Can you believe it’s already December 1st? Time flies when you’re spending too much time on the internet and not enough time doing your homework. Personally, I’m just happy about the  whole advent calendar tradition starting up again. Seriously, why isn’t that an all-year round thing? I mean I think I deserve a little chocolate every morning to make up for all the sport I don’t do.

Anyways, about today’s post…The Blogger Symptoms. Very dramatic sounding, isn’t it? Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying blogging’s a disease – you guys know Ilove being a blogger! But, I’m sure all my fellow bloggers can agree that there are some things we all do that are pretty crazy. Last month was my one year blogiversary and I wanted to write something fun to celebrate an amazing year of Artsy Teening! I know a lot of my followers are also bloggers, so I hope you guys can relate to this list (or alternatively if you don’t have a blog, I suggest you sit back, relax and laugh at all us crazy people who post stuff on the internet 😉 ).

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1 – Taking a million slightly different photos of the same thing, because you need to get the angle just right!

2 – Constantly checking your blog stats has just become part of your daily routine.

3 – Spending more time replying to the lovely comments from your followers than you do replying to texts from your friends.

4 – Having that one drink/snack that you like to have when you’re writing a post.

5 – Double checking to see if the post you scheduled was actually published on time!

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6 – Suddenly remembering that a twitter chat was happening, but you’ve just missed it!

7 – Always having a bunch of post-its lying around.

8 – Trying to think of synonyms for the same word so that you can have as many tags on your post as possible.

9 – Always randomly jotting down ideas for potential blog posts.

10 – Basically having a nervous breakdown when there’s no Wi-fi connection nearby.

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11 – Sunny days are an excuse to take plenty of pictures while the lighting’s good!

12 – If you’re blogging and someone asks what you’re doing, you say you’re “working”.

13 – Making decisions solely based on the fact that “you can blog it”. Seriously, the amount of times I’ve only baked cookies for the sake of a decent recipe post!

14 – Always having a hundred tabs open at once.

15 – Getting super excited every time you change up your blog’s layout!

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Blogging Symptoms from Other Bloggers!

Another great thing about being a blogger is becoming part of an amazing blogger community…So I decided to ask a few of my blogger friends to send in some of their own ‘Blogging Symptoms‘!

“You accidentally bring blogging up in your every day life. You make little updates to the layout of your blog all the time and can’t seem to stop. You forget to reply to comments. You follow way too many sites, but unfollowing them would make you feel guilty. Whenever you receive a lovely comment from someone, you can’t stop smiling!”

“You struggle with bloggers’ block at some point. Or hate automated comments!”

–Sanna, 

 “All bloggers make their significant other take photos of their outfits for OOTD posts!”

–Lynell Marie, 

“All bloggers openly stress about how hard it is to grow instagram :(.”

–Lisa, www.thechinadolldiaries.com

“For me it would be.. Forgetting there’s an outside world! I sometimes get so wrapped up in blogging and all things digital, that I forget to take a breather haha!”
 
“I am crazy about emails. Every day, (almost 😀 ) I will open each one up with excitement, replying if necessary or just reading them with a great big smile. Emails are just so exciting to open. Before it used to be the tearing of snail mail, and now it’s the clicking of online mail!”
–Train of Thought, www.mybookylife.wordpress.com
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So, have you caught the Blogging Bug? Let me know in the comments below!

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10 Things I HATE About Winter

Posted on by maya

hi-guys

How have you all been? I’ve really missed chatting with you guys! I know, it’s been awhile…I’m sorry :/. I wish I could say it was because I have a crazy social life and super busy schedule, but we all know I only have like 3.4 friends, so that’s a lie(and no, I’m not going to explain the oddly accurate decimal) . Unfortunately, my only excuse is that I’ve been suffering from this terrible illness called procrastination. (In case you don’t know what a procrastinator is, it’s basically someone who sits down to write a post and then three weeks later finds that they still haven’t posted anything because they were too busy organising their desk and scrolling through pinterest and avoiding basic liferesponsibilities.)

Anyways, because it’s been so long since my last post, I wanted to write something really fun for you guys this week. I was looking back at my blog stats the other day and I saw that one of my most popular posts is ‘10 Things I HATE About Travelling‘. Naturally, I’m all about spreading positivity and all that, but if pessimism is what the people want – who am I to deny them of it? And since winter happens to be just around the corner, I thought I’d use it as inspiration! (Plus my radiator’s not working at the moment and my room’s like -40 degrees, so if ever there was a time I felt motivated to write a list of winter-related complaints, it’s today.)

So without further ado, here are 10 Things I Hate About Winter, in no particular order of importance because I’m too indecisive to prioritize anything.

1

The Weather

I thought I’d start off by addressing the obvious. Winter weather, and by that I mean constant rain, icy wind and dreary grey skies. Now I’d just love to see that on a Christmas  card, instead of this “winter wonderland” rumour that’s been going around spreading false hope.

Admittedly, I do live in Ireland where we have this kind of weather all year round – but it definitely gets even worse during the winter months so I’m allowed to give out about it. And if you actually happen to be one of those people who lives in a cute chalet somewhere in the Swiss Alps, well good for you. I hope you’re enjoying yourself while the rest of us try to convince ourselves that our snowy landscape screen savers are real.

2

Getting out of bed

Is it just me or does the cold make it significantly harder to get out of bed in the morning? I mean, I’m not the biggest fan of leaving my comfy quilt and pillows to go face reality in the first place. However, when I wake up and my blanket is the only thing shielding me from the arctic winds of my bedroom, the idea of dropping out of school and moving to the Caribbean suddenly becomes extremely appealing.

3

The Outfit Dilemma

Some people call winter a “time of festive cheer”, personally I call it the “time to decide between fashion and not dying of pneumonia”. Is there even such a thing as fashionable warm clothing? If there is please let me know what it is! Because let me tell you, if I had a euro for every time a perfectly constructed outfit was ruined by an ugly jumper or horrible winter coat, I’d be rich by now.

4

Shorter Days

This may just be me, but as soon as the days start getting shorter, my productivity just plummets. It’s like my life becomes a maths test, the formula is ‘hours of daylight are proportional to levels of motivation’, and I’m failing miserably. Honestly this is why I’ll never be a great writer because I could be on the last page of my masterpiece and then as soon as  it gets dark outside, that’s it – game over. I’d just drop everything and watch Netflix for six hours.

5

No Heating

I think it’s safe to say that I relate to this issue on an emotional level. First off, my school’s heating system works so that 75% of the classrooms are freezing, and the other 25% are like the fires of hell (which I’ve never been to personally, but I’m just assuming that accounting class and hell are more or less the same). This basically means I’ll be sitting in maths wearing a hat, scarf and fifteen layers of clothing, and then walk into Spanish class and have to change into a bikini.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, when I get home I then have to enter into a four-month-long argument with my Dad about turning on the heating, because he’s one of those vampire people who just don’t feel the cold. Not to mention that on top of all that, the heating in my car’s broken. Really at this point, as soon as Halloween’s over I’ve just learnt to accept that that I’ll be in a constant state of frantic shivering for the rest of the year.

6

Christmas Exams

You know what I just love? When the Christmas holidays are around the corner, everyone’s acting uncharacteristically sweet because they want to get presents and there’s just a generally festive and joyous atmosphere. Oh, and you can’t take part in any of it because the education system decided that this was a great time to test you on everything you learnt in the past 6 years.

7

Getting Sick

You hear a lot of phrases tossed around during the winter months. “Happy Holidays”, “Merry Christmas”, “Can you turn the heating on?” (yeah, the heat issue’s really gotten to me). But you know which one you hear the most often? “There’s a bug going around”. I swear as soon as the clocks go back, life just turns into a countdown waiting for who’s going to get sick first. And you know there’s no avoiding it, because as soon as one person has it in the family then it’s just a domino effect of doom from then. Plus everywhere you go, everyone’s sniffling and coughing and asking you for tissues (needless to say I wasn’t destined for a medical career).

8

Using Your Phone Whilst Wearing Gloves

Perhaps not the most serious problem of all time, but I just think in today’s day and age, touchscreen devices should be able to handle my wearing gloves. I mean lack of technological advancement here is basically forcing me to choose between frost bite and listening to music (because I’m not one of those normal people who can just put on a playlist, I have to choose each individual song).

9

Burning Your Tongue 

Cold weather means hot chocolates and spiced coffees and herbal teas… oh and SETTING FIRE TO YOUR MOUTH. Now this could just be me, because I have the patience of a five year old and can’t wait for my drink to cool down before drinking it, but I thought I’d complain about it anyway.

10

Struggling to Find Socks

Okay so I have this theory that my washing machine consumes socks. Seriously, that seems to be the only logical explanation for my socks’ random disappearances. And the worst part is that during the summer months, I always seem to have an abundance of them, but come November I’d be lucky to find even one pair of mismatched socks.

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Well that’s all I have for you guys today! I hope you all have an amazing week. Make sure to comment down below letting me know if you can relate to anything on the list or if you have any other winter complaints you want to share and we can be pessimistic together:) Talk to you guys soon...signature

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10 Things I’ll NEVER Understand

Posted on by maya

Not that the list of things I will never understand is limited to 10 items, but if I tried to list all of them this would be an incredibly long and boring post 😉 . I hope you guys are all having a good weekend! How are you finding back to school season? I’ve officially started Sixth Year (which in the Irish system is the last year of school!) and let’s just say it’s been a pretty crazy two weeks. Anyways, I don’t want to make this introduction too long so without further ado, here are 10 Things I’ll Never Understand…

1. My Own Handwriting

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I’m not sure how this happened, but at some point during my education I must have skipped over the whole ‘handwriting’ phase. I mean obviously I can write – but I swear it’s the most illegible bunch of scribbles you’ve ever seen.  Every single year, teachers will tell me to “sort out that handwriting” and I try, I really do, but no matter what it still looks like a bunch of hieroglyphs waiting to be deciphered. Honestly I don’t know why secret services waste time and effort designing new, intricate codes when they could just use my handwriting.

2. Six inch heels

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Well, actually any height of heel – I just wanted reference the Beyoncé song (if you haven’t listened to it, stop reading and go look it up right now). Seriously though, how do those stiletto-wearing women do it? I tripped on a pavement once wearing flats and broke my arm (true story), so in tall heels I’d just be a walking (well, falling) disaster!

And I’d love to know when exactly people learn to walk in heels. Cause it seemed to me like one minute everyone was rocking light-up sneakers and the next strutting around in stilettos. Is there some sort of heel-walking college people attend that I don’t know about?

3. My inability to unlock my own phone

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Ok, please tell me I’m not the only one who does this. I can’t tell you guys the amount of times that I’ve actually locked myself out of my own phone just because I repeatedly messed up on the pattern-lock-thingy.  And then I have to go through the 30-second-wait-of-shame before trying again. You know, it’s just like when I’m trying to log in to my email account and I get the password so wrong that the little ‘Prove you’re not a robot’ image comes up. Then I fail at the robot test as well and start questioning whether or not I’m even human. The whole thing’s just an unnecessary stress in my life.

4. People who order water at restaurants

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So this may just be me because I don’t go out to restaurants often, but I just don’t get people who go to restaurants and pay for a glass of water. Are you crazy? You went through all the trouble of googling a nice restaurant,  dressing up, driving over here and reading through the menu – so you can end up ordering water?  I mean look at all these cool drinks; you’ve got the tropical fruit juices, the overpriced fizzy drinks, the weird cocktails – you are wasting an opportunity, my friend. Honestly, you may as well have stayed home and had dinner with your tap.

5. People who order salad at Mc Donald’s

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While we’re on the topic of annoying people eating out, let’s talk about that one friend we all have who orders some “nutritional” vegetarian dish while the rest of us are getting burgers. Now I’m all for a healthy lifestyle and everything, but to me going to a fast food restaurant and ordering a salad is just contradictory. Do you go to gyms to buy chocolate? Do you go to the Sahara desert to buy winter coats? Then why would you order a salad, when there’s plenty of junk food to choose from?

6. Perfume commercials 

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I would love to go to one of the meetings where filmakers have to discuss the ideas for a perfume commercial. Because I’m pretty convinced everyone there must be on drugs. Seriously, can you imagine a serious director standing up and pitching his concept just like “I have a vision for the latest Chanel perfume. I’m thinking flowers, sheets randomly floating around a woman, a tsunami wave, and most importantly no evident storyline whatsoever”. Am I right or am I right?

7. Make up Abuse

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Now, I have nothing against wearing a bit of make up, but when I go outside and see women with three coats of orange paint on their face – I start to worry for society. Is someone going to build a house on your face? No? Then why is all this foundation necessary? And what’s even more crazy is the price people pay for the make up products. Like if it were me, I’d just go down to the costume shop and bulk buy face paint. It’s cheaper and equally ridiculous.

8. Bungee jumping

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Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t it usually human instinct to try and stay alive? Because to me, willingly throwing yourself off a cliff doesn’t sound like you’re trying to stay alive. And I know people say it’s for “the rush of adrenaline” or “the relief you feel afterwards”. See, here’s the thing. You don’t have to feel relief, if you never put yourself in the situation in the first place. But hey, if it takes a near-death experience for you to “feel alive” allow me to randomly throw knives at you while you’re strapped to a spinning wheel. Because that  makes just as much sense to me.

9. Conversations with Dentists

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So you know when’s the perfect time to strike up a conversation? Well, according to my dentist, it’s when my mouth is being jabbed with six different sharp objects. And I know, I know… they’re just trying to be “friendly”. But seriously, what do you want me to do? Communicate with my eyes? Do sign language with my tongue?

10. How I managed to reach 3000 followers in one year!?

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Ok,  wait. So technically that statement isn’t true…yet. But hopefully it will be soon! See, my 1 year ‘blogiversary’ (apparently that’s what the cool kids call it) is coming up in a little over month. And, I was hoping you guys would help me reach my goal of 3000 followers by October 26th! How, you might ask? Well, if each one of my followers just got one other person to subscribe to Artsy Teen – I’d reach my goal in no time! So if you guys know someone who might enjoy my crazy ramblings, DIYs and attempts at humour, please please send them a link to my blog!

That’s all for today…talk to you guys next week :).

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7 Types of Tourists

Posted on by maya

hey

How are you guys? It’s been a while! For the last two weeks my friend and I have been traveling around Europe and it was amazing. First we visited South Tyrol in Italy, then we spent a few days in Ljubljana, the capital of Slovenia, and finally we stayed in the city of Munich in Germany. You guys know I love travelling and whenever I’m abroad, I find that there are some types of people that I always see. These tourists include, but are not limited to, the following:

The paparazzi 

I have to start out with one of the classics. Probably the most recognisable tourist stereotype, the paparazzi often move in packs, armed with enormous cameras and selfie sticks. And you always know when the paparazzi have arrived because all of a sudden you’ll see a bolt of lightning but then realise it’s just the flash on their cameras. Really, it’s a bit annoying.  I mean, I understand wanting take a few pictures to remember the trip, in fact I always have my camera with me when I’m away, but if you’ve turned this museum exhibition into a photo shoot you need to stop.

The backpackers

As the name suggests, these types of tourists can be identified by the enormous hiking backpack on their back. Usually these people are young, pretty broke and looking to have an adventure. And I know that these people have memorable experiences because my Dad went interrailing around Europe like 20 years ago and I’m still hearing stories about it.

The Foodie

This is the person who went on holiday for one reason and one reason only: food. And can I just say that I fully respect this decision and this stereotype is heavily based upon my own character. Seriously, when I go abroad all my money’s spent on trying local dishes and going to restaurants. In fact, every single outing I go on will ultimately end up with me eating. Going to the beach? Time to enjoy some ice cream. Visiting the city centre?  More like spend two hours at the food market. I won’t even buy souvenirs to bring home, I’ll just buy more food 🙂 .

The Honeymooners

Don’t even get me started on these two. This is the couple that will turn any place they go to – a park, a beach, a restaurant -into the set of Romeo and Juliet. If I wanted to see a romantic teenage drama, I would’ve have stayed home and watched the Fault In Our Stars. But I don’t, so please could you and your “significant other” go giggle and hold hands somewhere else and stop ruining my view.

The Valentino Vacationer

These types of tourists are a lot like the ‘backpackers’ I mentioned earlier. Except that instead of backpacks, they have prada suitcases and instead of hiking boots, they’re wearing stilettos. These are the type of people you see staying at those 5 star hotels and eating at fancy restaurants while you’re in those touristy souvenir shops trying to find the best value post cards (because if I pay 90c for a post card, and then see the same one being sold somewhere else for 60c, that’s enough to ruin my whole trip).

The “local”

Last week I was on a train in Italy and sitting behind me was this blond American who spent the entire journey talking on his phone (the fact that he was blond is completely irrelevant, but you know some description just adds to the narrative ;)). Now I’m not one to eavesdrop but this guy honestly had the loudest voice and so I was forced to spend two hours listening to Blondie brag about his many traveling exploits, talking about all these countries he’d visited as if he’d lived there his whole life. And honestly these people are so annoying because they will act like they know everything about every country in the world, just because they’ve done a bit of traveling. You know the type.They’ll correct your pronunciation of a foreign word, even though they don’t speak the language themselves. Or they’ll act like a tour guide even if they’ve never been to the place before. And if you’re thinking ‘hey, I don’t know anyone like that’, you are that person.

The Lost Puppy

You will usually see this tourist wandering around holding a map upside down and looking extremely confused. They’re most likely first time travelers and are always asking people around them for directions. Also this person is 100% me ;).

. . .

Well, that’s all I have for you guys today! I’m so sorry my posting schedule has been all over the place while I was travelling, but now that I’m back I promise everything will go back to normal. Let me know in the comments below what type of tourist you are or if you can think of any other types of tourists. Also, don’t forget to like and share this post if you enjoyed reading it, which I hope you did!

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